I’m getting fed up with my anxieties for the past weeks away from home (not counting weekends). I’m looking for a counselor to help me get over or at least help keep my anxieties in check with the motivation that I’m drain of. I hate how it interferes with my passion to draw something at least shitty with no effort, I literally can’t. I just need to find a person that could help me in my real life to get through my everyday task. I almost thought about shutting down my blog multiple times. I don’t know why, I just felt like it for no reason and I will doubt it will come to it (hopefully). Everyday feels the same, I feel like a rusty bin of trash with moldy rubbish that just recently been vomited on and filled to the brim with unmentionable things of god-who-knows what. Just about everything about my plans aren’t going great: one of my friend got sick, my paycheck came late, I was late for my rent almost risking myself losing my apartment, and almost got robbed both my car and apartment.
There are others that has at least been supportive or just blog a few things for me to get my mind off of things I cared less about conflicting my life. I just want to say “thank you” and appreciate the support, but as of right now I have my own battles going through the process of studying in my courses, late rent payment, financial short-comings, clearing my missing debit card fiasco, and losing my passion to do what I love to do.
I hate having to lose the “drive” to even pick up my pencil and sketch something fairly simple. I know I shouldn’t force myself to draw something because I’ll lose that passion to draw even more. I was told to put if off and wait until I feel like drawing again. But for how long? I’m honestly scared to lose interest in art because of the amount of responsibility. So if there are others like me, please do share your experience how you guys get over that “hump”.
So I cancelled my missing card in case if it falls into the wrong hands. However things gets worse for me when I discover a cop cruiser parked in my area and several cars with shattered windshields reported with missing items. I know somethings going on. News around my private apartment area or so they say there’s an increase of criminal activity. Now I’m pissed because I didn’t sign up for this after filing out my application to my apartment for a guaranteed “hassle free living”. So I’m going to be pretty quiet due to anxiety again. I may feel better next week hopefully if things gets better.
To whom ever took my card: I will never forgive you and beat the ever living shit out of you and use that shit to slam it back on your ass so I can beat it once more and don’t think you could repay me for forgiveness with money either (because you may have wasted my time and resources filing a “missing card” report and hope to god you don’t use it that same card you may have stole).
Why is everyone complaining why Japan gets the demo first. It’s pretty obvious it’s made in Japan so having things localize takes time and patience. Just be happy that it’s coming out this year, Jesus Christ people…
Japan doesn’t ALWAYS gets Nintendo-exclusive games first you know. Well, other than that, Sakurai loves to tease people including fans (he knows).
I hate talking to people even friends sometimes. I really don’t know why. I just hate moving my lips and raising my voice. And it’s bad enough on phones too. I can’t see myself using my phone even sometimes if it’s a friend calling and I feel like an asshole for that. At work I usually let someone else take the call so I don’t have to talk at all. But recently I’m trying to replace my debit card and the only way to do it is by phone. I shit you not I sound really awkward talking. I’m extremely absent minded and stutter like a full-auto carbine constantly correcting myself. I’m trying as hard as I can keeping my shit together. I know people are going to tell me I’m just being plain irrational. Seriously, I hated how my folks keep reassuring me that I need to grow up or stop being a fucking wuss. It’s easier said than done. I wished others know social anxiety isn’t a matter to laugh at.
I’ve been monitoring my missing debit card for quiet some time. Believe me, trying to focus in class was almost impossible to not make a scene. There hasn’t been any transactions so I’m assuming that I just dropped it somewhere or someone was kind enough to pick it up for me waiting for me to pick it up because I literally check everywhere through my thrash, clothes and my car. Right now I’m going to cancel the card and get a replacement. It’s good to know the world isn’t full of thieves than I expected and found people that cared about my financial safety. I really thank you for it and has been reducing my anxiety lately. Now I’m going back hitting the books without worrying too much.