I can’t believe how great it is to have a functional shower and sleeping on a real bed instead of a futon with 2 blankets as a sheet and pillow. And I’m literally crying tears of joy being back on my PC playing games, browsing the web with no issues at all, and surpassing sound and graphic qualities.
I know I’ve took things for granted, but I’m just getting over how fucking homesick I was to be able to also watch my own shows without any issues and everything else in my own home. I even forgot how fucking hungry I was everyday. My stomach hurts after eating, but I feel a lot less stressed.
Never have I thought I would be able to sleep again because of how piss-poor the living quality of my bathroom and bedroom back in my apartment. I even took a nap for once in my life. NEVER have I ever took a single nap for many years of mild insomnia.
Tomorrow is my last day staying home so I’m going to miss being able to have the time of my life. I hope I could draw something, if not, that’s fine. Did I mention how much I hate driving? I got sandwiched my 2 long trucks and getting stuck behind a vehicle going 10 miles slower than the legal limit, but I digress. So yeah, I was homesick, I usually don’t care too much about my mom and dad, but I got slightly emotional because I loved their cooking and their tea, especially mom because she makes excellent green tea and flower tea. And dad knows how to make delicious chow mein to drown my sorrows!
They all have the same speed, but the rest of the stats on each karts are different. The GLA Tires are the same stats like the Standard too so I don’t have to explain much (they look neat though).
The SUV tends to drift more outwards. Though both the W 25 Silver Arrow and the 300 SL Roadster has more of this inward drift. That’s much pretty much it about them.
Well at the end of the day, Mario Kart 8 is still selling like hotcakes boosting the sales of the Wii U. Mercedes knew about this and had to add in product placements to sell their vehicles. Anyways, have fun racing as Donkey Kong in your brand-new fancy new car like a movie star.
Yeah, Luigi now has more reasons to be pissed to see more variants of has brother. *Now 100% more anthropomorphic dog racer, and a mute swordsman. Race in a brand new vehicle from a racer who hasn’t had his own game in so long along with 50% more tracks to compete in!*
On the plus side: Super Mario Kart Dream Racer an idea pitchedby Vinny from Vinesauce is becoming a dream come true. This dream is becoming a reality in your own living room in an upcoming DLC (I swear, Vinny sees the future by corrupting games).
Also fancy new vehicles for Donkey Kong. Mercedes: they’re car, it goes fast, and makes quality honking.
I realized I left my cap at my home, now my head feels awkward as hell now.
Now I can somewhat get back to drawing, but I better not use Steam to play games on so I don’t fry it like my old one. The least I could do is chat and watch stuff. The connection here is rather questionable at best, but it will make do. Everything’s a mess and I don’t feel like organizing at the moment not after driving around places running errands and came back around 11 PM.
I haven’t really been able to sleep earlier than what I’ve planned, lately this has been persistent for a month and a half. I just want my happiness and my own innocence back since I was young and very naive at the time. Everyday I faced myself and wondered, what really gives me the “drive” to make my own action matter even mundane ones. I was too stubborn to face the harsh reality and prepare for it. I had to pay the price being unfortunate enough to suffer from my own faults.
Video games and soda were my escape from the real world. Even though I’m dependent on both of them to numb the feeling of being unhappy made me hate myself even more because it destroyed my family’s trust along with my health as I couldn’t keep my shit together to grow up. I know that my parent works hard and comes home very late to keep me up all night. But I wished they took some time off their schedule besides Monday (Running Errands Out of Town Day in my family). They want be to go to school and get a better job than a lousy one like me and my parent works at currently. Though I doubt I’ll come to terms to be unhappy studying my ass off that I’ve depended on my parent to help me go to a college ironically because I couldn’t bare see my folks work day and night every 6 days in a week just for my cause. I don’t want to disappoint them ever since they told me to do good in school since I could remember.
Everyday in my life isn’t complete without at least one anxiety to ruin the day. I never liked being around people too long because I feel I may burden them despite how many times my trustworthy counselor dismiss it as being irrational. Each day feels like a loop of impending doom around me that makes me avoid any contact from others. Even though I’m used to being alone, I can never get over the pain how cold the world is.
I never like how some schools and people told me that I’ll be happy with a job that’ll pay well and go to college. They’re both right and wrong, I’d rather work at a low paying job that I’m happy with than die old and unhappy with wealth at my side from a job I absolutely loath. Then again there are places that will exploit their own workers all in the name of profit. It seems we live in a world where your social status matters above all else to own fancy cars and homes and yet end up paying more than just money; we sacrifice our family bonding to survive through modern society and use the excuse if being busy all the time likes it’s going out of fashion.
Speaking of jobs, I done some research that it’s very unlikely being a graphic artist is available for work. I don’t want my talents go to waste nor feel unneeded, somehow I must find a way to feed myself or just become another hungry artist. Now mentioning art, I haven’t the motivation to lift a pen to doodle anything lately not because I’m busy. I’m noticing that I’m actually starting to lose interest what I love to do as a child. I don’t want to loose my touch to adapt to work at a job just to make a living I hate to make my folks proud. But I don’t want to let them down for all the years of making good grades to make them smile and be proud of me.
I’m not going to “off” myself because that wouldn’t change a damn fact how the world works. It’s just that I want to be happy with everything I do again and catch up with my childhood and relearn how to smile, laugh and cry again.